You Don't Have to Grieve Alone
Grief is a journey.
Following the death of a loved one, it's important to take positive, proactive steps to make sure you're grieving in a healthy way.
The following information may or may not be relevant to your own circumstances. We are providing this in an attempt to aid you in finding your path through the grieving process.
Our interest and care for the families we serve does not end with the funeral service. We recognize the significant changes and feelings of loss that families experience after the death of a loved one. We provide “Miracles & Memories,” a Christmas program, for families to recognize their special needs and provide comfort and support.
The Phases of Grief
Grief isn't something you process overnight; in some ways, it's something you may never fully "get over." Rather, grief is a journey, and it can encompass a range of moods and reactions. There is a classic five-stage model that maps out the grief journey. While your personal experience may not totally align with this model, it can nevertheless be a useful tool for charting your feelings.
Your grief is so fresh and raw that you may feel like you're in a state of shock. Those in the denial phase simply want to push forward and try to make it through each day.
Those who have lost a loved one may feel deserted, abandoned by God, or simply resentful over the time they've lost. Anger is a good and healthy part of the grieving process.
It may be tempting to try to "make a deal" with God or the universe. Bargaining is often accompanied by intense feelings of guilt and the wish to wake up and find it was all a dream.
A season of melancholy is to be expected from those who grieve. Depression may also feel like a profound state of emptiness or meaninglessness.
Those who reach acceptance may still feel quite sad — this does not mean their grieving journey is over, but they have reached a healthy place of truly engaging with their feelings.
"You will not 'get over' the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same nor would you want to."
— Elizabeth Kübler-Ross and David Kessler
In our lifetimes we all have those special, life-changing moments — some met with excitement and overwhelming joy, while others are met with heartbreak and tears.
We all anticipate a baby's first steps, first words, and first day of school. We anticipate graduation from High School and College. We plan on the bigger things like buying your first car, the joy of a wedding, and the pride of buying a new home.
What about the other "firsts" that most people don't necessarily like to think about? There are also many firsts after losing a loved one — and it's those firsts that can seem like a mountain that you will never reach the top of. The first night sleeping in your home alone. The first month the bills have to be paid. Especially the first anniversary of your loved one's passing.
It is difficult sometimes to realize that some things will never be the same after you lose a loved one. You may feel left out of your circle of friends because they may feel it will upset you to be around other couples. Unfortunately, they do not realize that their actions may actually be making you feel worse.
Firstly, know that you are not alone — in fact, there are more people dealing with those "firsts" than you know.
Take a deep breath when you are having a "first" moment. Take a look outside and see the beauty of nature. It can be as simple as seeing a hummingbird or a dragonfly or a cloud formation. If you are so inclined — pray or meditate, turn over your grief and stress and sadness to a higher power.
We at Grimes Funeral Chapels are not just a funeral home — we are your extended family during your time of grief. Our staff is always here for you. If you need to talk about your experience, we are a phone call away.
We understand that the loss of a loved one affects different people in different ways, and sometimes you may need a little extra encouragement to continue on. It is our commitment to help establish a healthy grief process.